I agree with Oot n Aboot about everything. Rather don’t call it a reception and don’t just leave out a few people.

My cousin had cake and tea after the ceremony (they did the whole cutting the cake thing) and this allowed everyone at the ceremony to mingle and greet the couple. They had the table set up along the wall with plates, cups and coffee and tea; and once the ceremony was done the church ladies helping out brought in the snacks and the urn of boiling water. This all took about 2 hours and then everyone went home at about 5pm. Then at 7pm the close family and friends met up again for “dinner and a dance”.

The best thing about this is that it gives you a chance to set up the venue for the dinner and dancing. I would just call those people you want to attend the dinner and tell them that there will be a family dinner at X time at the same place. Tell them that you need time to set up so after tea and cake could they go to the nearest family house (or go home for a few hours) and come back at X time.

But I would recommend cutting the cake after the ceremony since a lot of people like to see that and it makes them feel like part of the occasion.

Good luck with everything.

Short answer: you can’t without looking rude and entitled.

The reception is meant to thank your guests for supporting you at the ceremony. Every single person at the ceremony MUST without exception be invited to the reception.

If you can’t afford to invite them to the reception, you don’t send them an invitation to the ceremony. Period. No discussion, no exception.

I don’t think there is a way to do it that won’t result in hurt feelings. Your guests who were excluded from the reception will feel like you invited them to watch the show and bring a gift, but not partake of the niceties that the “A” list would be receiving. Yuck. I would be pretty offended if I were left off the reception list. And if your wedding and reception are in the same venue — yikes. All of your guests will be mingling — how will you sort them out and gently show the uninvited the exit while simultaneously directing the invited to the bar/hordoeuvres?

Don’t do it. Instead of the guests being touched and honored to be included to witness you getting married, then having to go home because they were not invited to the reception; they will be hurt, insulted and offended.

When I was a kid, my mom got a wedding invitation to the ceremony only, not the reception. She explained to me the ceremony was in a church which is a public place. She threw the invitation in the trash.

You Don’t! If they are good enough for the ceremony they are good enough for the reception it is as simple as that. Some solution would be to have a dessert reception only immediately following the ceremony. Cake ,punch, and nuts, and fruit tray. Or if you want nicer make some tea sandwiches yourself
( you can make these ahead and many freeze well, just be sure to remove from the storage container and thaw them on your serving trays otherwise they will be soggy) to go with the above adding cheese and crackers and a veggie tray with dip. This is a perfectly acceptable solution to your problem without being rude. You are not required to serve a complete meal, but this fact should be on invites Example: “Tea reception to follow” ( this includes the sandwiches and heavier snacks) or “Dessert reception to follow”. This allows guests to be aware that dinner will not be served and eat at home accordingly.
Then go out to a restaurant with the others later.

I agree with all the others. This is rude and cannot be done.

Obviously, weddings are very expensive and many people understand this. So simply limit your guest list to those who you can afford to come to the ceremony AND reception. You can’t invite people to just the ceremony. They will hang around after….and then what? Are you going to make an announcement that they must leave? Awkward, awkward, awkward!

I’m not sure it can be done with them being in the same venue. If it were 2 different venues then you might be able to swing it but having them all to the same venue is just going to seem rude dismissing some of them once the ceremony is through.

I guess you could maybe set up a website or a Facebook event where you could explain that the event is invite only but ALL are welcome to the ceremony but I’m not so sure you won’t offend people.

All the best with it.

I would invite everyone to the ceremony and have a cake and punch reception at the church. Everyone has some coffee, punch, tea, snacks and desserts. They mingle, socialize and you (the couple) cut the cake. This would be done in the afternoon so people would be going home around 4pm (or whatever) in time for dinner at home.

When you send out the invites, you would physically call the select few that you want to join you in dinner after the wedding. You would tell them that a cake and punch reception will follow the ceremony but you are having an intimate celebration with family and friends later on and that person is invited. I would actually limit this to your closest family and friends. Don’t have 100 people at your ceremony then 65 at the dinner, that looks like you were picking and choosing. But if you had 100 people at the ceremony and 30 at the dinner, it looks like a group of close people celebrating with a dinner.

I wouldn’t call the dinner a reception, I would just call it a dinner and dance. That way it is like the wedding was over at 4pm and after you chose to have a party.

I know where you are coming from and believe me I was blasted when I asked this, b/c they are right, it doesn’t feel quite right. People will get offended or will tag along thinking they misplaced the reception invite, or both. My fiance has lots of family and wants them all there but realistically we can only afford X number of people, we wanted a way to include everyone but have yet to figure that out.

Hope this helps.

gauche gauche gauche. can’t be done and shouldn’t be done. basically you’re telling people ‘you’re important enough to come see our vows and bring us gifts, but if you think we’re paying for you to eat and drink afterward you’re crazy!’ I’ve been to over 20 weddings in probably 6 different US states and I have never heard of this. you can only invite the # of people you can afford, period.

Here’s an idea; do a cake and punch reception and invite everyone. If you do have it at the same location you can’t make people leave, they are going to want to stay.